08 April 2010

I love roller coasters, but...

Whew! Well, I'm back to subbing for my regular private schools now that I'm finished with my long term position at the all girl's school. I figured that it was about time I updated on my teaching career and a couple of things I've learned since December. But first, a little background story. Ready?

Personally, this past week, specifically the past couple of days, have been an emotional roller coaster for me as well as those around me. Here's the skinny:

This past weekend was Easter. The school I sub for on a very regular basis (my alma mater) had a 4 day weekend - Good Friday and "Better Monday" off - and everyone was looking forward to the respite from school. I was asked to sub for an English teacher this week because she had to have surgery that weekend and would not be returning until the following Monday. I accepted, of course, and went on with my weekend. I got to school Monday and had one class. It was a fantastic start to a day and I was looking forward to it getting better. One of the principals came into my room right before the end of 1st period and handed me a letter that I needed to read. It was from the secondary principal and it was about a grave issue. I read the letter in disbelief - one of the 9th grade students, a young man whose locker was not 10 feet from the room I was in, had died the previous evening from a gunshot wound and we had to tell the students. I read and reread the letter several times before it started to sink in. I personally did not know the young man, but I knew that most of the students I would have later in the day knew him and it was a horrible shock. The instructions were to read them to our second period classes, but I didn't have a second period, which was probably good considering I was the last person I felt the students should hear that sort of news from - a substitute. I walked the halls during that time a bit and found out who the young man's second period teacher was, and she was right down the hall from me. As I passed her door, I listened to her give the news to the students that their classmate would no longer be here - there would be a permanent empty seat for him from that day on. The look of shock and disbelief on the faces I saw was heartbreaking. The teacher, I could tell, was on the verge of tears but kept her cool and was so very brave for her students. I can't imagine the pain she must have felt standing there telling her students that their classmate was dead. That definitely is something I know no teacher ever wants to have to do, but it was a good learning experience for us all.

The one thing this event did make me stop and think about was how I would react if it had been one of my students - one that I saw every day (having a regular classroom of course), one that I called on by name to answer questions, one whose name I saw every day as I graded papers or updated by books or even checked the seating chart. How would I feel knowing that I now had to erase his name from everything - like he never existed. The tears welled up in my eyes just thinking about that, and about the pain I know his teachers must have been feeling. I know it's very possible that something like that could happen while I am a teacher and while I hope it never does, I do know that it brings home to everyone just how precious life really is and how short it can become. It was a good reminder for everyone that we can't live forever and we are never guaranteed to live to a ripe old age.

Rest in Peace, dear one. You will surely be missed.



But that was only part of the day, part of the week.

The other half of my day I would rather not talk about - personal reasons, ya know? But I will say that it had to do with my younger brother making some very BAD decisions on his part so we had to have a family intervention that night, which started at school. Happily, though, things have worked themselves out it seems and the issue I was struggling with on Tuesday I am no longer struggling with. So yay!

It was an awful roller coaster - silly emotions


And that was only Tuesday! What happened next simply astounds me.

So, it's Wednesday. Day 2 of a 4-day week, okay? The morning had started off gloriously and I was so excited for the day to continue getting better (can we see a pattern here...?). I made it through 1st period and enjoyed some down time during my 2nd period planning. After that, I headed off to chapel (private school!), which was split on this particular day. I only bring this up because it has a canny resemblance to what happens later...

Anyway, we're most of the way through chapel when girls start screaming and ducking. I looked around and saw a wasp flying low above their heads. I don't think it's any big deal, but apparently girls have to be dramatic and it was waspish chaos for the next couple of minutes. The wasp flew away and landed in a young lady's hair and was eventually killed. Ker-SPLAT!!

Oh the drama....!

Then the episode was over and we went back to life as usual. After chapel, I headed back to the classroom to get ready for 3rd period.

Honors class

Typically, when you think Honors, you think "well behaved students," but this, unfortunately, was not exactly the case.

The students started filing into the room and I was in the process of sorting papers to give them before class when... well, let me back up for a sec.

Tuesday, I had opened the windows in the room before 3rd for a drafty breeze. Apparently, a wasp had flown in and had perched in between the blinds and the windows. It stayed there for the remainder of the day and I forgot all about it. Until Wednesday when....

When.... one of the male students checked the blinds to see if the wasp was still there (he had observed its presence the day before). It was. And he freaked out slightly. I told him just to leave it alone and everything will be just fine. He sat down and I thought the issue had come to a close.

Well, about 40 minutes into the class period, the wasp emerged from his safe spot and started flying around the room at ceiling level (these are tall ceilings). All of the girls started freaking out and ducking for cover, some holding their books above their heads like shields others getting as far to the ground as they could without getting out of their seat. I told them it was nothing to worry about, leave it alone and you'll be fine, etc. One young man commented under his breath that he was going to kill the wasp, but I kept reiterating "leave it alone" and pretty soon after that, they calmed down and I thought everything was fine. I went back to writing my report, but making sure to keep an eye out for him because he is someone I routinely have to keep under my thumb. Before I could say anything or could register what was happening, he jumps out of his seat in the back with his backpack in his hands and lunges the 5 feet to the windows ready to strike the unsuspecting wasp sitting calmly on the windowsill. He swings his bag, aiming for the wasp, and.... CRASH! SHATTER! TiNkLe.... he breaks the window and misses the wasp. Mind you this happened in a span less than a second. I was shocked, he was shocked, the class was shocked. I sat there with my mouth hanging open for about a second, gathered myself, and sent him calmly to the office. He apologized several times, but the damage was done. The class worked quietly after he left for the remaining 10 minutes of class. I called the office and someone boarded up the window, but that didn't mean the class didn't talk about it. As soon as the bell rang, I had students running into the room to see if the window really was broken. I had many questions about how it happened, but I didn't answer any of them. It really didn't matter how it happened - the window was broken and that's all there was to it. The young man was back in class today - and was a complete angel :-) I think he learned his lesson.

So what did I learn from this experience? That I have to learn to roll with the punches and broken glass. That sometimes details are simply not important. That it becomes the focal point of taunting for which one must address. That I can't prevent everything.

Humbling experience? I think so.

In some ways, I think it's my fault that it happened. I keep running over in my head: I should at least tried to say something when I saw him getting up. But, honestly, there was no reaction time. I don't know if I can blame myself for that, but it still makes me wonder if the school still wants me to keep coming back to work for them.

They asked me to earlier today, so I guess there are no hard feelings :-)

All in all, these past couple of days have been excellent lessons for me in handling Jr. High students and their behavior. Goodness knows it's experience I need but don't always want to have. Still, I think two traumatic days of being with high strung kids can make one go back and rethink a few things - like how to better handle them as a whole in your approach to everything. I've been working on it. After all, that's why I took this job - so I could learn!

Thank you, Jr. High, for teaching the teacher a lesson :-)