I was going through some old files...

And I found the beginnings of a blog post about my first week as a teacher.  It's not complete but it at least is no-holds-barred honest.  Being a teacher isn't about free summers (which we don't really get free) or coloring or watching movies.  I'll let you decide if that first week was telling of my new environment.

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Week 1

FAILURE.

That's how I would describe how I felt at the end of this week.  Never would I have ever believed how exhausting and taxing being a new teacher is.  Every single class period, we were doing something different.  It all goes along with this new Freshman Academy my school is implementing this year.  All 9th grade teachers have the same rules and expectations as well as consequences.  This entire week has been spent reviewing rules and procedures, doing drills and getting-to-know-you exercises, and putting classroom management into practice.

Let me tell you, I've been spoiled my entire life with peers who behaved well in class and would do what was asked of them the FIRST time, not the fourth or fifth time.  I don't recall one teacher in school that ever had a problem with managing a class.

Suffice it to say, I was NOT prepared in the slightest for the behavior of the students I was about to receive.

I THOUGHT I knew how to handle a class... these kids put me to the greatest test I've ever had.  There is non-stop chatter all the time.  It's like they can't handle silence.  There is serious disrespect towards everyone - teachers, students, anyone who walks the halls.  It almost seems like they don't want to take you seriously unless you're yelling at them.  Then, if you do, they get all defensive and want to blame you (the teacher) for THEIR mistakes.  I'm sorry, but no.  I don't give you a grade you don't earn and I won't treat you with disrespect unless you've proven you can't handle the respect I do give you.

They beat me down to my bare bones by the end of the week.  I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything - rapport, management, work.  Nothing.  Plus, doing something different every class...

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And that was all I got to.  Pretty rough, huh?  And to think that I long for those days again.  You can only imagine what teaching is like for me now if THAT was the best year I've had. 

I will say that by the end of that year, the kids were better and the culture we had established really did work.  Those kids are graduating next year and I couldn't be prouder of them.  They did put me through the ringer and back, but I grew as a person and as a teacher.  I definitely was NOT prepared for the role I was given but I'm better because of it.  Sometimes you gotta get beat down really good before you can stand up again.  I've been getting up and standing for 3 years now - time will only tell if I've made a good decision to come back again.